My Lips Are Sealed

Published by admin | Filed under criminality, tech

You’ll never guess whose wallet I have right now. Nope, it’s not mine. It’s one that belongs to a famous Hollywood celeb. Let me give you some clues. Try to see if you can guess who she is. She’s blonde, she’s got oh-so-gorgeous skin, she has a passable voice (which still manages to sell albums), she knows ballet, and she’s a trendsetter! No, she doesn’t have a drinking problem, he he. I’m not going to tell you about the movies she’s been in; that would be giving her identity away.

Speaking of her identity, I’m officially taking it over. I now have her passport, some controversial pictures (you’d never believe what I’m seeing right now) and her credit cards! They don’t have a limit; I checked. I’m about to log online to buy a gorgeous Gucci purse, two pairs of heavenly shoes from Manolo Blahnik, three pairs of yummy Victoria Secret lingerie, a BIG bottle of Chanel N°5, and roundtrip tickets for two to the Caribbean for some much needed R&R! And that’s just to start!

Ain’t life great? I feel kinda bad for her, but she’s certainly rich enough. She should have gotten some lifelock identity theft protection. Perhaps she just doesn’t care. Well, her loss is my gain. Hasta la vista baby! See you when I get back from my glorious days in the sun!